so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
