it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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