I am in a vortex of obligation.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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