So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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