Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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