im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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