is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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