i think my mom watched the whole time
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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