Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
