Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
ok first of all what the fuck
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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