so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
