I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
