Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize