If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize