Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
