i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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