I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Shame is for Republicans.
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