and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
