Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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