You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
