was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
