Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
