So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
