i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
