if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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