She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize