Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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