i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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