Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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