all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
be right there i have to get my cape
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
