At least make sure they are 18
Why
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
