this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
