i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
