he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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