Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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