Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
