Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
