i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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