We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
