he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
