I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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