Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Four minutes until I can fart!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
