I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
