Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Terrible idea I love it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
