where am i from again
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
