just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
