I'm really into asian looking animals
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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