....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
