it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Buhtt sex?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
