I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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