at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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