Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
