so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
