Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have post one night stand depression
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
