It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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