I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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