Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
