she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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