Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
